Tuesday, May 28, 2019

Positive people make negative people, independence makes dependence! The understanding is deepened by the dualism tug of war theory!

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2. What is your dream?



What kind of life would you like without restrictions? What do you want to be yourself if you have no restrictions?







3. Let's write a list of things we want to do!



If you write a list of 100 things you want to do, you know who you are.







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Let's learn from Takeshi Honda online seminar (column) ...







How do you stop pulling in the dynamics of human relations?
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Hi, this is Ken Honda.
This month's theme is "How to build a relationship that changes life." First of all, let's talk about the four points that stop pulling in the dynamics of human relations.

1) Do not criticize or attack your opponent
I think this is the minimum condition to build relationships. People tend to think that "I am correct and the other person is wrong" by all means. It is easy to attack the other person by saying, "Why can't you think more positively?" Or "Why are you unable to understand me?" If you do this, you can not get close to the other party.

2) Be responsible for what you feel
Be aware that positive people do not have emotions and be responsible for it. And negative people should be responsible for too much emotion. Unless you are aware of what kind of emotion you have and build up a relationship, you will be swayed by the emotion and it will be difficult to improve the relationship.

3) Speak honestly what you feel
It is about talking honestly and dating people what you feel. Even if you hide your true spirit and associate with people, it is transmitted to the other party. It is about having the courage to speak honestly what you feel from the heart.

4) See the same emotions as your partner in yourself
When this matrix is ​​divided into positive independence and negative dependency, or negative independence and positive dependency, in fact, this pair has exactly the same emotion.

For example, when you think that you are not worthy, you think that you have to work hard because you are not worth it, and you do not want to feel that you are not worth anymore. It is the difference of people who go up to positive dependence. If there is any project, people with negative independence will show the result by showing "It is worthless because they are not worth it, so we will do our best to pay attention to every corner." is. On the other hand, because people who rely on positive do not know where to start, they become irresponsible, thinking that "I should do nothing rather than fail." In other words, one is overly responsible and the other is totally irresponsible.

Also, in the case of negative dependence with another combination, positive independence, people of positive independence try their best to encourage or light up their opponents. Then, those who rely on negatives feel that "I am not worth anything" when they see positive independence people trying to prove their worth. This is what is happening in the matrix.


In order to build a good relationship, it is important not to make the relationship worse. As the point for that, "crises the other party, does not attack" "responsible for what I feel" "speak honestly what I feel" "in my own same feelings as the other person" I told you "see."

That said, there are times when it doesn't work well, sometimes you want to get closer and you want to connect with your heart. So, I will talk about "3 steps to get out of each position and head to the center".

1) I notice that I am stuck in the pattern
All humanity is in the pattern of human relations. If President Donald Trump apologizes, “I can not do anything actually” apologizing, how much do you think the world will change? But in reality President Trump never shows the appearance of being vulnerable to others. In this way, when we compete with a country with different ideas and positions, sometimes it escalates to war. If you learn to break against the other party, I think how smoothly the relationship between the couple and the company will progress.

2) See what you feel to each other
You can know your current position by looking at what you feel and making yourself aware. And by imaging this matrix, it is possible to get closer to the other party.

3) Talk to each other until you feel peace
If you have a partner, I would like you to talk with two people. And if you don't have a partner, feel about what's happening in yourself. Basically, there is no need for a partner to restore human relationships. After all, the problems that come out of relationships are just your own problems. If you change, the other person also changes.



Today, I decided to stop pulling in the dynamics of human relations and specifically tell how to go to the center. Repeated practice and practice are essential to be able to apply the matrix of human relationships to life. Please make full use of this wisdom and enjoy more connections with people.

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Takumi Yamazaki Book, English ver.
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http://www.amazon.com/Shift-ebook/dp/B007VSDZPG/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1370728415&sr=8-2&keywords=shift+takumi+yamazaki

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