Taku's Blog++: A Series of Tiny No’s Leads to Unhappiness — A Series of Tiny Yeses Leads to Your Desired Life.

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An interview with Shonda Rhimes — the world-famous screenwriter who wrote a book about her real-life experiment of saying “YES” for an entire year

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J98NpA5sYf0

↓↓↓Below is the summary of the content・・・

💡 Theoretical Lessons on Life Change: The Year of Yes

This interview centers on how Shonda Rhimes — the massively successful TV creator who nonetheless found herself living a “small life” — transformed everything by committing to one simple rule: a full year of saying “YES.”

Her story reveals a practical, psychological framework for personal transformation.

1. The Theoretical Foundation of Change

Real change begins with the belief that transformation does not come from outside forces but from your own choices and actions.

You Are the Change Agent:Be conscious that the only person who can change your life is you.
Acknowledge the Status Quo:
Even if life looks successful, you must honestly admit when the inner reality feels dissatisfied, unhappy, or stagnant.
Rhimes realized that while her characters lived extraordinary lives, she was living in “a very small corner” of her own.
Re-evaluate Your Capability:
Recognize that you are far more capable than you believe; most of us underestimate ourselves.

2. Establishing and Executing the 'YES' Rule

To create meaningful change, Rhimes set a clear operational rule:

Set the Rule:
Say “YES” for one full year to everything that scares you.
This becomes the path to “a better place—or at least a different one.”
Take the Leap:
Begin doing the things you fear.
Start with a Manageable Yes:
Her first YES was to give a graduation speech months later — terrifying, but distant enough to lower the emotional barrier.
Undo the Fear:
Fear dissolves through the act of doing.
Let Small Yeses Accumulate:
Don’t aim for giant transformation all at once.
Start with concrete, doable YESes (exercise, eat a salad, drink more water).
Just as small NOs create unhappiness, small YESes build the life you want.

3. Turning "YES" Toward Yourself

The most important YES is not outward but inward.

Self-Affirming Dialogue:
Say YES to speaking to yourself as if you matter.
Words are spells; repeated affirmations become reality.
YES to Health:
Stop treating your body as only a vehicle for your brain.
End emotional numbing through food; eat when you’re actually hungry.
Recognize the ways you’ve been saying YES to comfort and stagnation.
YES to Difficult Conversations:
Avoiding conflict drains more energy than speaking the truth.
Peace requires choosing “the hard thing.”
Move from saying YES to others while saying NO to yourself → to the opposite.
When possible, say the hard thing first to remove escape routes.

4. Rejecting Traditional Expectations

Say NO to society’s scripts and YES to your own truth.

Rejecting Conventional Marriage:
Acknowledge the suffocation and panic traditional expectations can bring.
Question why marriage is celebrated more than actual achievements.
Face the fear of losing your self in marriage.
Ultimately, say YES to being a person who does not want marriage — and NO to the fairytale.
YES to Yourself Comes First/Prioritize Self-Affirmation)
Even if the other person is wonderful, if their vision for life differs from yours, the brave YES to yourself (and NO to them) brings the deepest peace.

🔑 The Mindset Required for Life Change

By changing yourself, you unlock an enormous range of possible transformations — not just going outside more, but reshaping your relationship with yourself, your health, your conversations, your boundaries, and your entire approach to life.

The core teaching:
Every daily decision — every YES or NO — carries power.
Ask yourself continually:

“Is this a YES to myself, or a NO to myself?”

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