Did you get a boyfriend？Will you get married yet? Aren't you going to have children?
http://djaoi.blog.jp/archives/85670558.html?t=1
I wonder if it was around the time that my daughter was in the hospital for leukemia,
I received a LINE from a friend from university, and we were updated each other about our lives, but my friend didn't know what that my daughter was in a difficult situation, and for some reason, I didn't feel like telling her.
We communicated back and forth and as I tried to avoid the topic, and finally my friend said, "Oh, how is ◯◯ (my daughter)?" and I felt like I had been shot in the chest.
Probably my friend was expecting that I'd say, "oh, she's well" and if we had mutual interests, I may have well said "oh, she's well" and pretend that nothing happened......
I don't want to worry my friend, is what came to mind first,
but actually, it was a self defense mechanism to "not want to be pitied"
But I knew that things would get tougher if I pretended to be strong here, my feelings of inferiority would only get heavier and what little that was left of my self-esteem would likely be crushed, so I told her honestly what was going on and about my daughter.
Then she called me within seconds and said "I'm going there now so wait" and even though I said "no you don't need to" she came right away from Tokyo to Shizuoka, and hugged me saying "It's going to be fine!" "Don't give up!" and slapped me on the butt and left. She may have only stayed for 30 minutes, but she was so so cool.
I've always had a proud personality and may because I didn't want somebody's sympathy, it took courage to show my weakness to another, but I was so glad I was able to show her my weakness.
If my friend hadn't asked me "Oh, how is ◯◯ (my daughter)?" things may have ended up without plus or minus.
But because she asked "Oh, how is ◯◯ (my daughter)?"
it turned out to work as a plus for me
and if I had given the wrong response to that question "Oh, how is ◯◯ (my daughter)?" it would definitely not have been a positive.
There are people that ask well intentioned questions
Did you get boyfriend? Will you get married soon? Are you going to have kids?
They don't mean any harm and are likely the same as asking "how are you?" and yet now it's a pretty taboo question to ask （※in most regions）
On the face of it, it may seem like the world is moving towards a kinder world where nobody gets hurt, but I also think that it's a world where no one can save you.
It may hurt a bit to be asked sensitive questions,
but if you can get it out there, it may be an opportunity for you to heal.
It may rescue you from the stress of having to struggle alone,
and if that happens, you may truly be able to be happy for the happiness of others.
Perhaps what's making you stressed is not getting news that your friend is pregnant, but the fact that "you want someone to understand how you feel" and that's that not happening is giving you stress.
In that case, it's better not to try to be strong and keep it all in, but learn to express yourself and share it honestly with someone you can trust.
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This is true〜
So true〜
We want to be thought of as someone great
That we've got things all together.
We don't want to be pitied or felt sorry for.
But if we really want to be great,
have things together,
and not be someone to be pitied,
then being able to say things out in the open, and being real and authentic is perhaps the path there.
The me that wants to impress others and look cool
and if falling apart and struggling inside.
I believed that was the right way
But perhaps true strength is being able to show your weakness?
Perhaps truly amazing people are that way because they are able to show the parts of them that aren't that amazing?
TAKU
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Meditation time with Hiramoto-san〜〜〜
↓↓↓
Realize
↓↓↓
Keep a distance
↓↓↓
Integrate it too＝oneness
↓↓↓
that no longer exists either＝selflessness
（you are no longer there）
We are spending this day called today for the first time.
Someone had that on their profile.....wow. It spoke to me.
Our thoughts and
our senses
Our consciousness only goes to one of these two〜
Stand up ・・・
Spread your legs a little wider than your shoulders
In a shape of the kanji 8
Shake your body up and down
Stomp on your heels
Shake your whole body till your fingertips and toes are vibrating!
At the same time, breathe out from your nose
Until snot comes flying out
Until you feel like you're over breathing
Those sitting down
lift your hands and
use your hands to shake up and down
This isn't meditation, it's the introduction to meditation
When I say stop, stop.
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